


i don't even fear death

by simpleshirota



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, a lot of fluff, and it's a feeling Beyond love that cant be described, so yeah basically they invented love, they make out ig, this is basically about. being extremely and very deeply in love with someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 05:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21191996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simpleshirota/pseuds/simpleshirota
Summary: “I'm in love with you, Kuro.”Mahiru's eyes hold this sentiment.---(Alternatively; Mahiru and Kuro both realize that their love for one another runs much deeper than anything that could ever possibly be expressed.)





	i don't even fear death

**Author's Note:**

> hi i startd writin thsi fic july 2018,,,,,,, , and finally managed to finish . it was difficult at times tho bc idk what servamp is anymore tbh. literally while editing this a few weeks ago my brain was just like. who the fuck is kuro and mahiru. who is that .
> 
> ??
> 
> ok im nervous abt posting thsi but hopefully it's not ooc and theres no dumb mistakes bc i tried to edit it but i am drowning in schoolwork right now so yeah .

_So warm._

It's the closest way Kuro can possibly describe the feeling in his heart right now - that feeling that had so easily settled inside of him and filled him entirely within the time he's known Mahiru.

It's early in the night. The last of the day's sunlight casts a warm glow on the bedroom. A warm, summer breeze drifts in from a nearby window, and only a single sheet is draped over the couple's bodies for cover as they lay in bed together, their bodies so close to one another.

Kuro feels Mahiru shift closer to him and his heart softens. He relishes in the warmth of Mahiru's body and the feeling of being able to hold him like this, protecting him. Kuro knows Mahiru feels safe and comfortable like this, in his arms, and they're both content this way.

Always, but especially during moments like this, he's so overcome with emotion that he feels like this is the strongest he's ever felt something. The night is calm and beautiful, and he can't imagine being able to live if anything was different; he wants this forever.

Mahiru reaches out and takes Kuro's hand into his own, lacing their fingers together.

“Are you awake?” Kuro asks, feeling the gesture.

He feels Mahiru tilt his head up and nod. Kuro glances down to meet his eyes.

“Mhm… it's not very late yet,” Mahiru points out. It was one of those nights when they'd gone to bed a bit earlier than usual, so they could hold each other for a while before they slept and enjoy the comfortable silence that came with the early night. It was relaxing and Mahiru appreciated the simplicity of it all.

Kuro separates their hands and reaches out to brush Mahiru's hair away from his forehead. He leans in and kisses Mahiru's forehead, and Mahiru's light giggle makes his heart flutter.

“Kuro, you make me happy,” Mahiru says suddenly. He reaches out to touch a strand of Kuro's hair before he speaks again, “I know I tell you that a lot but I really mean it. I treasure every moment between us.”

"I don't know how you can say that to me when you're the one who makes me the happiest I've ever been," Kuro responds softly.

Mahiru smiles. "I'm glad. I'm glad I can do that for you because it's what you've done for me. You've brought so much joy into my home."

Mahiru turns to sit with his back against the bed's headboard, and he stares up at the ceiling for a moment. Kuro sits up as well and watches him.

Mahiru is beautiful in the dim light, Kuro thinks.

"It's crazy… the thoughts I have sometimes. I've never thought like this before."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I love you. But it's… more than that, I think."

He pauses and Kuro's heart is racing because although he's heard it so many times, _I love you_ from Mahiru always makes him feel so much.

"I feel like I'm the happiest person alive. I am loved by the person I love the most. Isn't that perfect? Life is perfect, I think. Or as close to it as it can possibly be. It certainly feels that way with you."

Mahiru turns to sit on his side, facing Kuro. Kuro notices the rosy colour on his cheeks and the shy look in his brown eyes.

"I-I want this until the last moments of my life. If I have this forever, I don't think I could ever be unhappy with my life again. Does that make sense? S-Sorry, um, I-I don't know. I'm not sure if this makes sense. It's like… I just feel like everything will be fine and okay as long as we're like this."

Kuro only gazes into Mahiru's eyes, lost in them and unsure of what to say. He's at a loss for words, truly. He finds himself joining hands with Mahiru again, although he's aware that neither of them exactly initiated the contact but instead, the action felt instinctive.

Mahiru glances down and smiles at their laced fingers. He speaks again, his voice soft.

"I-I've just never thought like this before. But… I think if I'm with you for every second that remains in my life, Kuro, nothing can make me afraid. As long as this is real, the existence of it is all that matters to me, and nothing else is really important."

His words are beautiful, Kuro thinks. Kuro understands them.

_He's so happy with me that staying by his side is the only thing he really needs._

_It's the only thing he cares about._

"Nothing makes me afraid," Mahiru whispers.

His speaks low, as if it's vital to him that Kuro is the only person who hears his words and that his love reaches Kuro's heart only.

And often, Kuro has to admire how determined and stubborn Mahiru can be when he firmly believes in or is resolute in accomplishing something. He sees this again now, but it's different because Mahiru seems just the slightest bit desperate, almost as if Kuro believing him is the difference between life and death.

When Mahiru looks at Kuro the way he does now, brown eyes wide and honest, Kuro cannot deny that Mahiru's words are true.

This also frustrates Kuro slightly, because he wishes he was that strong with words, he wishes he could express his emotions so easily, and he wishes he knew how to leave Mahiru knowing without a doubt that he loves him just as much.

Their hands are still joined and the warmth from Mahiru's smaller hands is comforting to Kuro. It always is, because Mahiru's presence is all Kuro needs.

“I think I'm really in love with you.”

Mahiru's eyes seem to glow.

Kuro wonders how he's real.

_Stunning_, Kuro thinks.

The room is darker now, and Kuro only sees Mahiru.

“I'm in love with you, Kuro.”

Mahiru's eyes hold this sentiment.

"...Can't deal," Kuro finds himself saying, and he sighs, averting his gaze. "Don't look at me like that, you'll be the death of me one day, I swear."

Mahiru blinks. “Like what?”

“Your eyes are so…” Kuro’s voice trails off. _So full of love that I can feel it,_ is what Kuro wishes he could say, but his voice won't work. He wonders if Mahiru thinks that too whenever their eyes meet.

"You're perfect, you know that?" 

Kuro says this without thinking and he instantly hates the way the sentence sounds. He wants to say something as meaningful as what Mahiru said, but his mind can't come up with something so brilliant in a moment like this.

Mahiru sighs and nestles his head into the crook of Kuro's neck, hiding his warm face.

"I-I think that's far from true, Kuro," he murmurs. 

_Believe it._

_Believe it because I mean it more than anything._

Kuro knows he's never been good at expressing himself with words, and it's moments like this when he hates that part of himself the most because he really means this.

But he wants to try the best that he possibly can, because he needs Mahiru to believe this.

He loves Mahiru more than anything. He really does.

He's never loved like this before.

He's never felt _any emotion_ this intensely.

Kuro thinks the word _love_ does not come near to describe what lives in his heart, constantly growing as he falls deeper in love each day and becomes more sure of this feeling that he never thought could exist to this extent before.

This, Kuro believes, will never die.

"Mahiru."

Mahiru slowly lifts his head, and meets Kuro's eyes again. Kuro watches him carefully, and he's surprised when Mahiru blushes deeply again. He wonders what Mahiru is thinking.

"You know, I-I really…" Kuro stammers, searching for the right words, unable to _think_ because Mahiru is _so damn cute,_ "I-I love you so much that sometimes I don't know what to do… with all these emotions. It's troublesome and too much to deal with…" he finishes, and Mahiru's face becomes a darker shade of red.

"But I wouldn't have it any other way. Like what you said. I understand it. I think I feel that too."

Kuro reaches out and cups Mahiru's cheek in his right hand. He lets his fingers trail down the side of Mahiru's face until he holds his chin in his hand.

"You know I'm bad at this. Explaining my feelings."

He leans in just enough to rest his lips on Mahiru's, and speaks.

“But I really love you, Mahiru."

He whispers these words and he wishes they wouldn't sound so weak in his mind, because to him, _I love you_ will never truly tell Mahiru what he really feels in his heart.

But Mahiru understands.

Their noses brush and Kuro gently leans his forehead against Mahiru's. He gazes into Mahiru's big, brown eyes. Mahiru's eyes soften the way they always do whenever Kuro expresses his love in any way. It makes Kuro feel so helpless, because he knows that he’s falling for Mahiru all over again right now, as silly as it sounds in his mind.

So he kisses Mahiru.

He hears the bed sheet rustle slightly as Mahiru shifts his body and tries to move even closer to Kuro. He tilts Mahiru's chin ever so slightly so that their lips connect just perfectly. He feels Mahiru reach for his shirt and grip the material in his hand. The slight tug that Mahiru gives his shirt makes his heart flutter. _How does he make me feel so much so easily?_

Mahiru urges them closer and deepens the kiss. Kuro can feel the heat that's radiating off Mahiru's face and rising in his own cheeks. He can feel himself getting lost in the kiss, forgetting about everything except Mahiru in that moment because Mahiru is all that truly matters to him.

Eventually, they pull apart. Kuro takes in the sight of Mahiru's flushed face and reddened lips. His hand slowly drifts back up to Mahiru's cheek. His heart is full with so many emotions.

“You are my light, Mahiru,” Kuro says softly. His hand glides down to Mahiru's waist. “My sunshine."

Mahiru lets out a laugh into the quiet night. The look in his eyes conveys genuine contentment. His eyes are smiling.

"I love when you're happy like this," Mahiru replies gently.

"You're the reason why."

Kuro means it, more than anything.

He'll never regret meeting Mahiru and falling in love with him. He knows this for sure.

Kuro takes Mahiru's hand and carefully lifts it to his lips. He presses a tender kiss to Mahiru's fingers. His partner's reaction - a bright, loving smile that Kuro's familiar with - makes his heart skip a beat. It's contagious, and Kuro finds himself smiling as well.

The room falls into silence once more. It's dark and they can barely see each other anymore. Mahiru lays his head against Kuro's chest and sighs happily.

They'll both dream of an eternity together tonight.

A lifetime by each other's side.

As they fall asleep with their arms wrapped around each other, a single thought lingers in the air between them - a thought that's present in both their hearts that neither of them need to voice.

_I want to keep making memories with you like this._

** _More than anything._ **

**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
